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Lezley zen sons friend12/2/2023 ![]() I believe both my sons have apraxia, Jay more severely, but to this day I have not been able to get a diagnosis. ![]() It took around a year for him to eventually be diagnosed with autism, but it took months and months of me researching online and going back to the doctors.Įven after the diagnosis, I would find articles about apraxia and dyspraxi a, both of which are conditions which affect physical movement and which my sons were showing signs of, which my sons were showing signs of, and take them to doctors to ask what our options were. I was convinced that both my sons had autism, they were twins and both displayed similar behaviors, but this developmental psychologist was telling me there were no signs of autism-because Nick could look me in the eyes and smile at me. I sat there thinking: I am an educated white woman, if I am receiving this type of language and this sort of misinformation, what about those who don't have that type of privilege I do and may have to go off what the doctors are telling them. During the assessment process, a member of staff used an incredibly derogatory term to describe what they thought Nick had. I can't recall the specific condition, but they said he has an IQ of 58-which we have since discovered is absolutely untrue. Meghan AshburnĪround the same time, Nick was misdiagnosed. Meghan found an online community to support her around a year after her sons were diagnosed with autism. I felt as though because of the diagnosis, anything my son would go through in the future would be ignored and lumped in with his autism. It was really surreal.Īfter the assessment, we returned to the pediatrician who just handed us a list of ABA providers, but I didn't feel like my son needed to be "fixed." I was left with this feeling of confusion. This professional was so confident and assured in what she was saying, I almost stopped trusting myself and my parental instincts, that my son does have empathy but just communicates in a different way. I was told my son had avoidant behaviors which could be corrected in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy. However the assessor told me the reason he didn't feed the doll was because he didn't care about the doll's feelings-because he didn't have any empathy. "I have autism-TikTok trivializes my condition".'I Have Asperger's, Here's What Everyone Gets Wrong'."I don't know if my young son loves me, but I'm devoted to him".My son had never played with a doll, because he's grown up in a house full of other boys, so likely he just didn't know what to do with it. She told me that as part of the testing process, they give children a baby doll and see how they react. The person doing the assessment told me he did this because he viewed me as an inanimate object, like a tool or a machine. During the assessment, Jay had grabbed my hand to point something out or help communicate something. I was shocked at the language used during the process. But as soon as Jay got the diagnosis, I felt the focus was "fixing" him. ![]() Beforehand, I felt the focus was supporting the boys mental and emotional health because they were recovering from trauma. Initially, only Jay was diagnosed with autism-but once he was labeled autistic, everything changed. We were in contact with early intervention services shortly after the boys were born, but it wasn't until they turned three, and Jay still wasn't talking, that our pediatrician suggested checking whether they had autism. Many parents start signing to their children before their first words, however Jay and Nick didn't seem to pick up on what I was doing they did not respond or start imitating the things I was doing. ![]() The twins were both walking just fine, and would play together like any other toddlers, but they still weren't talking. They would also love to watch the same television shows on repeat, especially a show called Oscar's Oasis.Īs they got a little older we noticed their development seemed delayed, but we expected that because they went through a lot when they were babies. The only notable behavior displayed at that age was rocking, which they started doing as soon as they could sit up. The twins were happy babies-they weren't withdrawn in any way. She tells Newsweek about her sons' autism diagnosis in this original essay. Meghan Ashburn is an educational consultant, parent mentor, and author. ![]()
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